About Us

112 years ago, unregulated alien abduction led to the cattle crisis of '01, from which arose the modest Dairy party. In the midst of livestock surplus, a campaign was launched to grant nine cows and two bulls witness protection as three local farmers settled a conflict involving targeted lactose poisoning. The campaign failed when the crisis ended to a controversial mass ejection of ¾ of the planet's cattle.

Today, the party has long relinquished animal activism in favour of self-proclaimed centrism. The current chairman, Mr. Morel, recently came into power after his estranged uncle's resignation. Morel simultaneously inherited a contract with a private secret service. Despite Dairy's entirely dismal status, the contract landed him Philodendron, A.K.A. Pluto, a bodyguard with national security experience.

>(='_'=)< Morel

Pluto [-' '!' '-]

Steam user, but insists on keeping a ray gun he can't aim. Tries really hard to be mysterious but weirds people out. Sometimes soy about video games.